After skiing 10 times in this brand new ski season I have predicted that it will be a great ski season, although it will be cold.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
In my mind the Indianapolis Colts are unstoppable with there starters on the field. They should take there bie week and ride it in to the post season knowing that if they didnt rest there starters they could have easily been undefeated. Weather the Colts play against the Saints, Vikings, or even the Eagles i believe they will win because of there ability to come back in the fourth quarter. Although they shouldnt rely on this ability they can use it to there advantage if they fall behind in the early quarters of the game. That is how the Indianapolis Colts will win the Super Bowl.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Ski season training exercises to get you prepared:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
4. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
5. Throw away a hundred dollar bill-now.
6. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
7. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
8. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
9. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
10. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
11. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler.
12. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
13. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
14. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don't go see a doctor.
15. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it's time for the real thing!
at 11:38 AM
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Detroit Lions
Q. What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."
Q. How do you keep a Detroit Lion out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts.
Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A. To Ford Field - they never get a touchdown there!
Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief
Q. Why doesn't Grand Rapids have a professional football team?
A. Because then Detroit would want one.
Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters ou t of a dollar bill.
Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows, and we may never find out.
Q. What do the Detroit Lions and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.